MORE Tempering Outline

So, thus began his new life. As much as he hates himself now, there is still a want to survive. Some hope is still alive, but none that he'd acknowledge, preferring to allow his despondency and self-hatred to rule his mood. It's easier to feel sorry for yourself in such situations.


He has many challenges to face over the next few months; most are the choices he has to make. He starts out trying to stay hidden, which, is actually fairly easy in the beginning, as, most of the occupants don't venture very far into the jungle, but, very soon, he finds out, that most of the vegetation there is not edible, as he finds out most painfully by trial and error. At one point he's laid up for days from one spell of sickness brought on by testing out the plant life, and if he hadn't had water nearby, he might not have made it, but, he does recover, and eventually find some things he can eat..some fruits and he finally figures out how to catch some fish and he soon figures how to make fires from the flint in the rock, waiting til late at night…and is bad at it at first, but soon gets by enough to subsist. Also, his uniform is making him extremely uncomfortable, not to mention it shredding every day and covering him less and less and, he still has enough humanity and ego in him that he will NOT go without something on. So, in desperation, he finally ventures in down at night to see what he can find.

His first course of action is to look around a bit, and get the lay of the land. He has seen the resort from far off, and has gotten a general idea of who stays there and what its all about. Elsbeth chose this planet wisely, as she knew the torture of seeing families at play, with everyone interacting with him having to stay hidden would be utter Hell for him. And it was.
From what he's gathered, the occupants here seem very well off, and extremely privileged, and most are happy to stay within the confines of the resort. Hes only seen a few venture to where his cave is, but they usually make enough racket that he can get away in time.
He would have liked to avoid this at all costs, but, hes desperate, his uniform is in rags by now.
He's not even sure WHY he wants to survive. He wishes he could just give up, but something deep down keeps him driving on, for what purpose, he doesn't know or understand, but he doesn't completely give up, and attempts to reason with himself that taking a few things from these over indulgent people wont be bad.

His first thing he takes is a set of swim shorts, being the only article of clothing he finds that will fit him. He also ends up taking a few blankets and other necessities over the ensuing weeks, especially over the off season, when the rainy, storm season was upon the planet. It was easy to find all he needed YET, he still felt terribly guilty yet knowing he has not other recourse. He learned a lot over those few months. Like how to protect himself during the violent storms, (The one he arrived in was nothing compared to the ones in the off season) and what to expect and how to get along.
But, all the while hes growing more distant with himself and who he was. He's still missing everyone one sorely, and wondering if they knew anything of what happened. His thoughts would think on their faces, and how they would react to knowing what he did, and it was easier to push everything away and tuck all further back in him mind, then deal with it. It's better to forget and move on. Unfortunately, it was always in the back of his mind, gnawing at his soul, eating at him and cajoling him that he made the wrong choice in joining the Crusade, his fathers words hammering loudly in the quiet of the nights that he was a failure, and especially the words "Why didn't you finish the job? Resounded in his head, referring to his suicide attempt all those years before. Maybe he should have finished, then there wouldn't be any shame to deal with, no regrets. But, just as quickly as those thoughts arose, he quickly buried them. Enough of the lesson he learned then still hung on, but yet, more and more, especially late it night, it would make sense.
So, he pushed everything away, or attempted to. He begins to live by rote, stealing when he has to, avoiding the others, and begins to settle into a routine. He could almost abide this now, settling that this life is his now, the routine almost comforting. Theres no surprises, no excitement. Hes filed everything away, not dealing with it, and it seems to work for a while, as long as he doesn't think about it, hes mostly fine, save for the nights he wakes up in terror with some nightmare vision fading away.
Hes learned to hide everything away, but, there still some of Jake left in there, deep down, that wont go down so easily.
And in his second year there, he begins to wander more, getting bolder, staying out longer in the daylight, watching the occupants more carefully, being more interested in what they are doing. Hes not sure why hes taking such chances as of late. He could easily stay well hidden away and never be found out, but, hes getting to the point where he doesn't seem to care anymore, maybe almost daring to get caught..feeling the fear of being caught just to feel anything.
Then, he saves the drowning boy, and something in him awakens, and wont be silenced, and hes actually seen, by the boy and his father.
His secret is out. There have been stories of a large creature skulking about, things being stolen or gone missing, but no proof, but enough stories to keep the management listening, and wary.

Now, the richest family is threatening to sue, and blow the lid off this mystery.

The management puts in a call.

As it is, the season in just about over, with the rainy season beginning soon. Perfect timing to send in and investigator.

Enter..HOLLY..

Jake was terribly confused now. The interaction with the boy and opened up more feelings than he cared to deal with. Memories surfaced constantly, and a tugging at his heart could be felt that had been sorely forgotten. He didn't want this, forgetting made it easier, if he couldn't be his true self, in his own body, then, being this nameless thing, hiding in the shadows, was for the best. So, why did he do it, why chance being seen?
He didn't know, and was hoping all would just blow over, but deep down, hoping something might come of this, if anything, perhaps to just end this.

But, this wasn't the end, it was just the beginning. God was ready to start work again on Jakes heart and soul, whether he was ready or not.

At first things seemed they would go back to normal. Jake gave up his wanderings in hopes all would just blow over, and he could return to his relative obscurity, not knowing why he had been so foolish, but actually reveling more and more the rush he had gotten when he had saved that boy. He tried to squelch the old heroic feelings, but, he was remembering more and more, and they tortured him. Why remember with fondness something he could never hope to attain and be again. It was better to forget, but, as of late, it was getting harder and harder. Memories of Tris and Phil kept resurfacing, especially of his mother, and wouldn't leave him alone. He wished he could just push it all away like before, but he couldn't.

Soon, the rainy season would be upon him, and the planet would be vacated of vacationers, and he would be alone. The thought actually terrified him. Alone, with these resurging thoughts, along with a terrible loneliness that was building inside of him, was not boding well.

Half the reason he would make those sorties to watch the vacationers was because of the loneliness, but now, he was regretting being careless.

He figured all was over, and all could go back to what he would take for normal.

Then, he saw her. And his life, or what passed for it, was completely turned inside out.

He noticed her, only because it was so late in the season when she arrived, and that she was alone.


Its early morning, the sun is just rising. The day already hot as Jake emerges from his cave to take a quick look down the stream in search of fish.

He doesn't see her until hes almost upon her, his footsteps softened by the moss on the trail. She doesn't hear or see him, but he sees her.

She standing, hands on hips, knee deep in the stream. The sun is behind her, and illuminates her in such a way that it just about takes his breath away. Shes beautiful, young and lovely in every sense of the word.

He quickly ducks behind a tree, and watches, feeling like a voyeur, but not able to help looking. She has long, dark brown hair that is swept up in a loose up-doo. She's wearing a tank top and shorts, and the look is casual, yet stunning to Jake.

She brings her hands up to adjust her hair, and Jake is smitten. Most of the woman he's seen here were never this beautiful. Most were matronly and rich, or the skinny, flighty types with harsh voices.
She wore no makeup, and seemed very at ease with where she was, and he felt a pang of longing wake up in him, not like the longing he felt with Elsbeth, but a one that stirred up warm, nurturing feelings, ones, that if he were his old self, he would have possibly acted on naturally, and pursued her.
But, in that instant, reality slammed home for him, and as he glanced down at his vile body, covered with a recent pair of stolen swim trunks, high end Hurleys, even. He inwardly shuddered at what he had allowed himself to become.
He was an idiot to even allow himself to entertain such feelings. For one, with the way he was, there was NO chance at all of even meeting her, and secondly, he didn't deserve even the hope it brought, and a dangerous self loathing settled around his heart as he slunk away back to his cave, more ashamed of himself than he had been in a while.

How dare he even think..

Yet, as the days go by, as much as he wants to put this out of his mind, he finds his thoughts constantly running back to the vision of her in his mind. The curve of her cheek, the way her hair framed her face, the way the sun lit up all around her. He's torturing himself over this and cant get her out of his mind, and, throwing caution to the wind, figuring he has nothing to lose, he takes the chance, and allows his treks outside during the day to take a wider, longer path, in hopes of just seeing her again, perhaps. On one trip, he finds her cabin. Most of the others are being closed up for the off season, and the only few left are some employees cabins, and the few die hards who stay to the absolute end of the season, one of which is the boys cabin, who, he actually had taken the most recent set of shorts.
He knew right off it was her cabin, recognizing the clothes hanging on the line.
He didn't stick around to look in windows. Whatever he was now, he had more couth than to become a peeping tom, and just wished on one of his trecks he'd see her, and be a welcome diversion to his now dreary life.

Unbeknownst to Jake, Holly has actually been called in as investigative reporter, to investigate the recent "monster" sightings

And so far, she's seen NOTHING. She only knows what she's been told. Some furtive sightings of a large, green creature possibly have been reported, some scattered unidentified footprints were seen near the river, various items of clothes and food have disappeared on occasion, yet, no real evidence. Barely getting anything out of the boys father, except to say he knew it was male because it stole his shorts and saw them on him when the creature sped away after attacking his son.
The boy repeatedly defended the creature, saying it saved him from drowning, but his parents would have none of it. They wouldn't even talk to Holly, as they were leaving that day.

So, she was left to her own devices to find this creature, if it existed, and she grew more frustrated every day.

Almost a week goes by, and she taking another trek deeper into the jungle. Shes completely aggravated. None of the mini cams shes set up have spotted anything but deer and birds, and she's almost ready to attempt to drown herself, just to see if the creature will attempt to save her.

She climbs to the top of a high hill and flings herself down on a overhanging ledge. Setting down hard, she scans the horizon and the trees below her, for anything, and sees nothing. She sits and fumes, not even able to enjoy the scenery. The story of a lifetime is slipping through her grasp. HOW can she report on something she cant even find?

She continues to fume, and sets there for a long time, lost in her anger and frustration. Never knowing that her quarry was directly underneath her, watching her.

__

Jake was elated, he finally had found her, and stayed well hidden in the undergrowth. She was just sitting, but looked frustrated this time, but to Jake, flamed by days of wishing to see her, she seemed all the more beautiful that before.
He watched for some time, until the guilt of knowing what he was doing welled up inside him, and he begrudgingly began to ease away, before he could be spotted.

When she suddenly stand up.

Holly has had enough, and gets up in a huff, furious at herself for not having anything to go on.
She gets up too fast, not paying attention, and suddenly looses her footing, and slips towards the drop off.

She has not time to catch herself as she falls.

Jake sees this, and reacts without thought. He tears out of his hiding place as his wings spread our around him. He leaps in the air, aided by the wings, as he takes 3 longs strides up the rock face, meeting Holly half way, he catches her in mid air.

Not accustomed to using his wings much, the combined weight of both of them sends him sinking to the ground much faster then he would have liked, with his wings now offering no assistance in slowing him down.

It wasn't a soft landing, but his strong legs support the fall, and he pulls he close to avoid dropping her, pulling his back out violently in the process.
Crying out in horrendous pain as Holly now struggled against him, not sure what just happened, but his scream sends her into terrified panic, thinking shes about to be killed.

She pushes away from him, hearing him cry out again as he releases her. She jumps away, only to find her back against the rock wall, and the only escape blocked by the creature, which was now bent over, holding his back and moaning painfully, his face set in an anguished grimace.

He steals a fast glance at her, and sees shes ok, but he then realizes she SEES him, and his first thought is to get away, but his back locks in the attempt to move, eliciting another pained wail from him.

He makes no advance to her, actually attempting to back up to lean his weight against a large boulder, trying to straighten up, but it only causes him more pain.

Holly watches, first in terror, then, in some understanding. This is the creature! She just fell from…she glances up and shudders…at least 50 feet, and it caught her, and now, it was hurt because of it.

She looks to its face, and their eyes meet, and lock. Looking back at her, are pain filled, almost human eyes of the most amazing shade of blue green. She can read raw emotion in them and what she sees the most is fear, followed by pain, and something else as it looked away from her gaze. Shame.

Over the pain, Jake feels an intense wave of self loathing and in conscious of what she must be thinking, having to look at something so grotesque as he must be awful.

His only thought now is to get away, somehow, he cant stand her lovely gaze on him.

Holly suddenly shifts her position, and Jake takes it as an advance towards him. He musters everything he has in him and flees haltingly, albeit painfully away.

Holly at first tries to follow, but her ankle gives way, remembering she twisted it on the rock as she fell.

By the time she manages to stand, Jake is gone, with no trace. Even as she cautiously limps along the trail he has taken, she hears nothing but the birds. No footfalls or snapping branches.

"Wait, I know you're hurt, let me help!" She calls, but, to no avail. Little does she know he's not even 100 feet from her, hiding behind a tree. Pushing his back against the tree for support, he chances a look down the path, and sees her limping a bit down the path..she stops and calls to him. He shrugs back against tree trunk, biting his fist against the pain it causes, not wanting to give away his hiding spot.

Tense moments pass, he dares not move, he barely breathes and listens. Finally he hears her unsteady gait turn back up the path. He hears her curse, as her footfalls fade away.

Hes mortified, yet, elated. He seen her up close, he's held her; he can still smell her on him. HE SAVED HER, she was alive, limping, but alive, and he had done it. The old rush came back, the one he got EVERY time he'd pulled of something momentous while in Crusade, particularly while after saving someone. He could almost feel good that she had seen him, but he had no idea what the ramifications would be now. This wasn't just a little kids account of a monster, and a fathers brief sighting, he had held her, and he knew he had seen her, wouldn't this cause all types of investigations. He was suddenly very afraid, if word of this got out…the place would be swarming with all sorts of investigators?  He'd be found out, questioned..what if they found out WHO he was?
He could feel panic rising, but then, the rush came back. He had saved her, and whatever the recourse was…it would be worth it, knowing he saved that lovely creature from certain death.

But, to be on the safe side, getting away would be most prudent, and, in great effort, he got his back to lock enough to allow him to walk home. The going was slow, but as much fear as he had in being found out, the thought of her being alive because of him made the worry and the pain almost bearable.

He got back to his lair late, and had to fumble his way in the back way, where he then settled as comfortably as he could. The worst of it was over, he hoped, as the pain was now just a dull throb that would flare with sudden movements.

He got a fire going after resting his back a bit, taking him much longer than usual, but he got it done eventually, and finally got settled in again.

It was then, while watching the flames dance; he noticed a glint of gold on the floor.

Quizzically, he reaches for it, and sees it's a bracelet. His eyes widen in incomprehension, then soften in understanding. It must be hers.

He takes it in both hands, as he passes his thumb over its gleaming surface, wondering how it got there. Probably snapped off in the fall and caught on him somewhere..who knows.

He notices there's writing, and looks closer. The name Holly is etched in fancy script with a small holly plant engraved next to it. He is completely entranced, such a lovely name. He whispers it under his breath as he turns the bracelet over to lay in the palm of his hand, mesmerized by the reflection of the dancing flames on its surface.

He's not sure how long he spends gazing at it, with thoughts of her swirling in his head, but, at some point in time, his thoughts turn dire. He wishes he could keep this as a small token of the memory of their "meeting", but, a sickening jolt shakes him from his reverie.
This isn't his to keep, even if he didn't steal it intentionally, it will be stealing if he keeps it, and he's had enough of that, what with having to steal clothes and other things to get by here. He wouldn't be able to stomach this, and knows he has to return it.

But how, without being caught or seen?

Early at dawn would be best, he reasons, sneak in under darkness, leave it somewhere conspicuous and then leave.

It would work, hes done it before with the shorts, much to his shame, at least sneaking around this time would be for something honorable.

So, he plans for the next morning, and attempts to sleep, but is woken by many dreams of her. He cant get her out of his head, and he begins to fret if this isn't some left over part of the spell from Elsbeth, a type of curse to make him miserable in his ever increasing loneliness, but, he has seen other woman since being stranded here, and none ever elicited such feelings before. The last time this happened, was with Elsbeth, but, this didn't feel the same way. It wasn't the sick, fevered obession that had swept over him, this was different, but he pushed it all away, just the same.
Why entertain such thoughts, when there was obiously NO chance of her feeling ANYTHING for him, except maybe disgust.

Either way, he still felt compelled to do the right thing and return it.

__

That night, Holly went to bed somewhat troubled. The creatures blazing blue green gaze haunting her. Those eyes had seemed to emotive, so full of pain, and it had saved her. Deep down her conscience was gnawing at her. This was a story of a lifetime, and she couldn't let something that was eating at her to ruin this for her, but, those eyes. They had drawn her in, and she couldn't get him out of her mind. She replayed the whole day over in her head. The fall, the rescue, the sheer luck of it being there to catch her. It was almost too much, and it terrified her to think what would have happened if it hadn't caught her. This thing definitely had intelligence and caring towards others, otherwise, why would it have saved her and the boy. How could she report on this thing, and have the whole world around its ears afterwards?
Then she switched gears. This was the story that could make her famous, shed just have to harden her heart, and push forward with it.

She turned on her side and pulled the blanket up around her ear, suddenly feeling very alone and guilty, and immediately remonstrating herself. So, it saved her, big deal, Its only an animal..right?

__

The next morning dawns cold and clear and dark. Sunrise is a few hours off, but Jake is used to traversing around in the dark. He wakes up stiff and sore, his back catching ever few steps as he makes ready to leave. Finally loosening up enough to where he can walk.
It's slow going, a bit slower than he would have liked, hoping to get all this done under the cover of darkness.
He arrives at her cottage just as the darkness of night is beginning to fade into shadow less gray.

The birds are just beginning to sing in the treetops, and as Jake nears her cottage, he sees several of them begin to swoop down to the bird feeder in the far corner of the yard.

He waits a moment in to scope out things, seeing if her lights are on, listening for any sounds that were out of the ordinary, and so far, nothing.

He eases out of the bushes as he pushes against the small of his back with one hand. The trek over has aggravated it, and it's a very sore Jake that now steals uneasily out in the open.

Scoping out a likely escape route, he hears her porch, and is then stopped short by a sudden commotion up over his head.
Several birds are now frantically swooping below a birdhouse set in a tree, seemingly chattering in a panic. Hes about to move on, when, he sees a small form fluttering on the ground, attempting to fly. Two larger birds, the parents no doubt, were in a complete tizzy.

Jake watched and saw how young the baby was. Hed have no chance if left alone, knowing the creatures that stalked through the grounds, especially in the early morning hours.

He had to do something.

Glancing again quickly at Holly's cottage, and seeing no sign of life, he went as quickly as he could over to the little bird, and stooped down, hitching his back in the process, and with some effort he stood again with difficulty, the little bird now safely in his hands.

The parent birds are now going ballistic, swooping and pecking at his head and shoulders. He didn't fend them off, only dodging as his back would allow.

Reaching up slowly, hes just tall enough to place one hand under birdhouse and nudge the little bird gently in with the other.

The parent birds still dive and swoop as backs away, not satisfied till he's made it to the far end of the cottage.
He waits a moment, then makes his way to the front steps.

Unbeknownst to him, the ruckus from the birds had woken Holly early on, and, at first terrified to see him so close, wondering why he was there. She then found herself watching with interest as the little scene played out, and was genuinely touched when she saw the concerned expression on its face melt into pleased relief as the baby stepped off his hand to flutter back into his nest.

Then it turned toward her cottage, and she ducked away from her window, having NO idea what it was up to, but very curious, her reporter instincts kicking, she rushes for her camera, intent on getting some pictures, kicking her self for not acting sooner and getting sucked up into the tender scene.

She rushes to the kitchen, and poises the camera out the window and waits…She knows she saw him heading in this direction, but where was he?

A sudden sound at from the porch makes her jump, and she whirls around to see his figure stooping, then standing painfully.

Her camera forgotten as she dives silently behind the cabinet, and waits.

She watches him turn and leave…a sad look clearly in its expression as its shoulders hunched and it trudged down the two steps dejectedly.